From the moment I turned 20 up till now, I have let the innocence running in my veins as I enter the world of young adulthood, be grounded by a sense of self discovery. As a flower takes time to bloom, we as human beings do so as well. In times of hardship, my petals fall and I lose sight of what I see around me. In a society where a constant battle to not compare with oneself to others is kind of impossible. Inevitably, I find myself being affected by the things I see people achieve, hungry to share that slice of sweet happiness. In the dips, I scramble in the pits of darkness to find a source of light to help me out. I feel as though throughout my 20s I have been in the face of my own fears as well as experienced pain I never felt I deserved to go through, and I started to see through the cracks. I could come to be less naive in my thinking toward life and try to challenge myself to embody what I feel is true to me, as I grounded myself as much as I could to a reality I perhaps did not really fathom to some degree. I guess perhaps my concepts of love were broken, and my ideals of love broken, when my relationship with him was broken. To this day, I look back and as hard as it is to erase these bitter memories, it is the cushions I fall back on that support me to bounce back on my feet. These cushions represent my friends. My family. The moments I have shared with them comes with an unlimited access to freeness of being and feeling accepted. Acceptance is so vital in sustaining relationships. Self-acceptance, well, thats on another level. It takes time to accept myself for who I am. In times where I felt I could no longer look at life in the eye and say I am in control with what I do is strained and I resort to playing the victim. Playing the victim is exhausting. It’s easy but thriving off a negative energy affects my inner self. My spirit. As one would not like to be subject to bullying. Self inflicting negative thoughts becomes a cycle I can not escape from. I find myself engraving these thoughts into my mind, in turn affecting my mood and self esteem. Dwelling on this has not helped me in the long run. In fact, I find myself stuck in a confused state. Not to say, one shouldn’t share their problems, because I did. I feel as though talking did help, the more I talked the more easier it became to realise a potential solution to a problem. It was healing in some ways. I feel the person(s) on the receiving end had great patience and an amazing listening ear for everything I said. For that, I am thankful for them (you know who you all are). Being in my 20s was thrilling because I came to be independent in my thinking. I came to immerse myself on another level of freedom to make choices for myself, I believed would help develop me. Develop my character. And skills. If I could meet my 20 year old self again, I would tell her to not be afraid about what people think of you. It was the year 2010 when my eldest sister Sarah passed away at the age of 25. I was 20 then. I always observed her, I found her intriguing as she took on a very busy and sociable lifestyle. She always encouraged me to invest in what I want to do in life. If I was to respond to this now, I would say I feel I have invested in relationships. Through all the opportunities , the challenges , the dead ends and the open doors, I’d like to think a certain kind of energy is driving me to live each day as it comes with a certain openness to expect the unexpected, learn something new or be surprised by the twinkling of spontaneous moments. Carried by a faith I have chosen to live by as well as a lifestyle I abide by, I aim to invest in making a small difference within a world you and I live in. Thank you 20s. Good bye and bring on the 30s.

I have two sisters who live abroad;one in Holland and one in Berlin and they have family (who I love so much) of their own. I occasionally visit them and when I do its always magical! I savour the sweet moments we share together, the sisterlyness of it all is so precious. I commend them greatly for their courage to live in another country and to this day forward they bloom in their own style and the limitless love between us grows stronger, even though we are afar. This poem I wrote highlights a bittersweet depiction of us being apart, and the technology which glues us together.. Its a blessing I will never take for granted for I cannot imagine how else we could communicate. I love you D and M.

We share the same sky, a blue blanket spread across the day, the sun, it smiles, lighting up my memories with you both, time you were both here on the same soil, on the same ground.

When the night falls, silence protrudes, my starry eye thinks of you, as I look to the sky, the moon so white, its above me and above you too

The waters divide us, but we are not, connected we are, unbreakable bond. Longer we are apart, the rich togetherness

can be felt through the tunnels of WiFi, on our phone.

The blessed phone.

I formed a pool of my sorrows when you both left, over time they slowly evaporated as I came to accept, the path you took, your happiness matters a lot to me.

When I spend time with you, its heaven. I cherish every second of every day smiling, laughing, spilling words all over the place, being content in a space filled with grace.

You dab away my eyes filled with bitter tears and infuse the sweetness of your spirit entwining with mine, hold my hand and tell me i’ll be fine.

And breathe.

I pocket these memories invigorating my soul, an irreplaceable feeling of bliss, I feel whole. Lift our heads high, it’s time to go.

I kiss goodbye.. And soon after say hello

On the blessed phone.

We are in the hood.

Kimchi powerfully represents one of Korea’s everyday must haves. It is eaten as a side dish and ooo it certainly sends happy vibes and just completes the meal from the beginning to the end. The crunch then the munch, then the mashiseyo and the feeling of genuine love for something as bitterlysourandlittlebitsweetsomehow can make you feel so happy. So I want to show you how my mum makes it. She agreed to me putting this on the blog even though she did say ‘you can find how to make kimchi on the internet’..but I want to show you her way because she puts a lil bit of her own personal spin and heart on it..and my mum certainly knows how to make gooooood kimchi. I think what’s beautiful about kimchi, is the nature of time and the evolving of flavour as it matures. I warn you ..the smell can linger on those Tupperware boxes..heehee

Sadly, I had to go work and was unable to take pictures of the mixing process ..so I took one from google images of unknown person mixing kimchi.lol.

7. Finally I was so happy to see the kimchi glowing with redness in the fridge. Of course I had to take a selfie with this lovingly prepared kimchi my mum had devoted her time and efforts towards..quite a commitment, I’m so grateful to her. I tasted it and it tasted divine. Next time, I hope to make it myself..hehe I’m not sure I can do it justice..

In midst of day to day living, there is one thing I like to do. Enter my safe haven for ‘me time’. To be within a space where I feel safe and sound, and draw attention to being in tune with my inner self. This safe haven tends to be in my room, as I sit on my chair with a cuppa lady grey tea.

However many things there are on my to do list, I always try to make room for a Miranda moment. And when I do, I experience a sense of self. A sense of control, allowing me to catch my breath and really immerse myself into the present moment.

In this present moment, I choose to be in my safe haven where I am subject to being aware of my current state of mind. A safe haven is a place of safety. I think we all have many safe havens whether it be in your room, or your favourite cafe or your bed….ultimately, being with your mind and body, will benefit you in the long run, to just be. Being still. I personally put down my phone and let my mind relax for a few moments, play soothing music in the background as I loosen up my joints in a nice comfy chair …and reflect…

Self reflection is so important. Crawling into the part of your mind and opening your awareness to feelings of fear, anxiety, happiness, exhaustion or sadness or omydaysineedtorest can be acknowledged in writing them down then and dealing with it later…I guess being mindful of our physical and internal self, can re-energise one to enter the big world again.

After all, as much as it is vital for ourselves to earn a living via means of working, paying the bills etc….just a simple breather for the soul for 5 mins at least with nothing in your hand is a feel good moment I encourage all to do. It’s borderline acceptable spacing out crossed with mindfulness crossed with you decide how to organise your thoughts… its also a break for the eyes from the blue light illuminating from our smart phones.

Also, after having a lil still moment to myself, I tend to read a few pages of something fruitful and nourishing for my inner self. Words of wisdom can rejuvenate you and fill you up with positive vibes. I encourage you all to do this. At the moment I am reading ‘The Untethered Soul’. It’s very good.

But yeah, just simply grabbing a cup of my lady grey tea (my fave) and a cheeky biccy, sitting in my comfy chair and just calming my thoughts for a bit is highly recommended people! It’s a good way to destress. Honestly.. its so nice. I’ll wrap this up by saying ….

BE KIND TO YOUR MIND , feel SAFE and put the E in HAVEN.. and it will feel like HEAVEN. Oh yeaaahh………🙃😝✌️✨🤭